Just when i thought i can really have the happiness that i deserve, i lost it all again.. this is the worst day i have ever been, the worst thing that i have ever done, and it really hurts. To tink that i am the one who destroys everything because i worry, think too much.
Used to ask all the close friends who found their right one, hw do they know that this is the one.. and their answer was, u will know when u meet the right one. Really dont know wat to write nw, cos it has become so empty.. the very 1st time i have ever felt emptiness.. wel, to forget tat i was almost got ran over while crossing the road cos i wasnt really there.. and concluded tat stayin in is the best way to avoid all these hazards.. and to cry my eyes out.. this time it is really very hard to control, i tried, tried really hard but it didnt work.. walking down the busy streets, with a lot of things goin on around me, i just dun even care anymore.. im juz crap.. im tired of being the strong one, who seems to be having everything in my control, tired of teling everybody that i am fine, when im not, tired of not telling the people hw hard it has been for me because didnt want them to worry abt me.. tired of myself that i kept pushing myself so hard all the time.. i dun like all the ugly things tat i have seen in life, on the streets, at work, on the world, where is my rainbow, my sunshine, i want to feel them once again.. need to find my inner peace, prob i shld rest, rest my body, my mind & my soul.... all these pain physically and emotionally.. juz shouldnt & couldnt ignore them anymore.. still wanna wake up in the morning, and grateful to be alive. although its has always been my wish tat if even when i die, i wanna go in my sleep.. but tink i have changed my mind abt tat. enough of blabbling nonsense..

2nd trip with Chris - Vienna & Bratislava.

It is May, supposingly Spring, but this yr, is definitely a very cold Spring, with daily temperature ranging 7-9degrees... honestly, this is really not im looking forward to.. n totally blaming the fact of global warming.. gues it is worse than what we, the humans, the destructors of the earth, predicted.. Now we are paying for the price..

Imagine, hailing in spring.. tats unbelievable.. but somehow, the flowers are still blooming.. although its as cold as winter.. im starting to wonder, if does it really matter to the flowers whether, spring or summer, cold, cool or warm.. they r stil in bloom in april, may.. tats weird..

Anyhow, i have been waiting for too long for the weather to b better.. and i am gettin sick of the cold too... prob subconsciously, that is also why i am travelling out of dublin, whenever i can.. .. ..
just wanna getaway frm the cold..

Im glad that my mum, aunt & uncle are coming @ the end of july.. the weather shld b better by then!! !! So lots of trips this yr, breaking my own record!! which also means breaking my own bank... ... !! ;p

Its been a long time since i had last had movie review on my blog! Wel, went to watch this today, and i do like this movie, mainly because of the diving, treasure hunt theme, and of cos the crew, Kate Hudson & Matthew McConaughey. ;)

It reminds me hw much i missed being @ the beach, @ the sea, with my bikini, suntanning.
And it also reminds me of my scuba diving experience, which i totally had a fantastic, unforgettable time.. which i really missed it too!!

But im glad that at least today, we did get a little bit of sun during the day, and i was really lucky that i was home by afternoon, that i can put on my shorts, and sit by the balcony, tryin to get as much sun as possible.. im really in need of tat!! !!

Being back in dublin for the past 4mths+, with the winter, and super cold spring, havin to wear all the layers of clothes to keep myself warm, i am also gettin fairer n fairer.. definitely not bcos i want to be 'compatible' wif chris.. and furthermore, i wont spend the money on the sunbeds as well, waste of money & increasing the risk of skin cancer.. wel, its not as though that i wont get skin cancer by suntanning.. but what i really want or need is to feel the warmth of the sunshine, that makes me feeling alive, recharged & of cos, happy. ;)

Life & Death is inevitable, everyone of us know that, especially for me, when i have seen so many of it happened in front of my eyes.. and although i have tried hard not to be emotionally effected by it like i used to be, but this time round, it is different.. because, this time, it is not any of my patients who had passed away.. but she's a friend, a colleague, a very very sweet, soft spoken lady.. who had (has) a bright, promising & loving future ahead of her, but everything is gone now..

Still cant believe that this is all true... that she & her husband are both in heaven now.. newly married for 3mths.. knowing each other & had gone through hardships & had maintained their long distance relationship for more than 1yr & finally tied the knot early this yr... out of the sudden, he fell sick with chicken pox & developed complications & then multi-organ failure.. and passed away on sun, the next day when she arrived to the hospital in Dubai.. all within a week.. he expired on last sunday morning.. and she.. died exactly 1week after that..

That sets me or prob everyone of us thinking.. and prob hoping.. that both of them are at least together now.. in heaven.. in their world..

I have heard and seen these kind of cases before.. in old couples.. like one passed away & the other gone as well, after the death of their very loved one.. could it be when one is emotionally, physically totally drained.. totally gone.. n when one's heart is dead.. there's nothing left in the soul.. in the body to continue one's life.. and everything just shut down..

& now. i have another thing to add in my list when i die.. i wanna die in the season of summer...
Not in the winter because its damn too cold. although i love white & snow..
Not in spring.. because i dont personally love flowers..
Not in autumn.. because all the lleaves are falling.. which will also reminds me of death...
Summer.. will be the best season for me to go.. even if not, the best 2nd choice would be winter then.. at least white is my favourite color, and it would go very well with my theme for my funeral..

So.. lesson of the day.....
(look at the title of my blog)...

"Live life to the fullest"

Because no one knows, when its yr time to leave this beautiful place..
although sometimes it can be very ugly too..

Treasure the people in yr life.. treasure what you have in yr hands..
Look around you.. open yr eyes, open yr heart & listen & feel..
the wonder of life.. breathe it in into yr body.. & be grateful that you are still alive..
make a diferrence in yr life, in other's life.. do yr part to make this world a better place to be in..

Finally went to look for this restaurant, Jo Burger, which is recommended by Rebecca months ago.. went there wif Chris, after we get back frm scotland n his plce.. ;) HUGE BURGER!! Definitely worth the money & the whole restaurant is totally cool too! the menu is on a old comic mag, the whole wall of the plce is painted wif cool graffitti like pics.. reali a nice plce!

Seems like we are like restaurant , food critic, who goes round tryin out plces.. which we both reali enjoy together. ;) juz hope i wont get fat wif all these!!

our 1st trip together, after my 1week of night shift, we were off to scotland for abt 3days.
although glasgow is reali kinda small city, it does make me feel im a local already, bcos the whole plce is easily accessible. ;) and furthermore, there's a cineworld in the city as wel, and tat i was havin my unlimited card along, we went for movies, ;) juz felt like we were back in dublin, in a way.. kekkeke

We took the train for abt 1 1/2 hrs to edinburgh, apparently it was the slowest train! cos when we took the train back to glasgow, it was only abt an hour!
both of us like edinburgh more than glasgow.. wel, ther's much more things to do n see in edinburgh, compared to glasgow.. it is a little more touristic.. but hey! We'r tourists!! lol

nevertheless, it was a great trip still, despite that the weather is colder than dublin.. but, spending time wif each other is more impt! ;)

Finally get to meet up wif chris after 2busy weekends of salsa & travel. ;)
We finally get our warm butts out of the house on sat afternoon despite of the on/off raining weather.. typical ireland's weather anyway.. Got on the Dart n went to Howth. ;)
Although it does looks reali blue n great weather in the pic.. it was cold n raining earlier when we juz reached howth. Pics @ the harbour were taken after our fantastic lunch @ Deep 2 Restaurant.




Starter - Mediterarean Soup.
It is really GoooooooooD!!


Seafood platter for 2.
Chris Favourite - the prawns tempura!
My fav - prawn salad
The seafood is so fresh here n so much cheaper too!!
Salmon n calamari r very good too.. Geez.. the whole plate is cool!!


Dessert - Death by Chocolate
Needless to say.. this dessert blows the 2 of us away too..
Im a choc lover, but for chris, who doesnt take too sweet stuffs.. he likes the dessert too.
its not too sweet, n the combination is really perfect!


The whole restaurant has realy nice ambience with a very cool bar & heaters all around the plce. Good Food, with good service from the servers, wat else r we asking for.. we r giving both our thumbs up for this plce! For this lunch, it is even less than 40euros in total! Great Deal!