Although One can change for the better, but there is always something that One cant change.
No matter how much One tries to change or to hide, One can never change the nature of One has born with.

When One is born to be a fighter, One is Always a fighter, for One is not born to be a follower.
Even when one tries to suppress the competitive nature, there will b a day when the competitive nature will surface once again.

Just be what you are, without hurting anyone or yourself.

Walking down the memory lane

It has been awhile since i have the time to sit down n do some reflection..
so now, being away frm dublin, away frm all the buzz in the city, im now in belfast over a friend's plce for couple days. this is one place that i have subconsciously trying to avoid to visit. im not avoiding my friend & his sweet family. i was avoiding to remember the times that i had in belfast with chris, bcos the train that i have to take frm dublin to belfast will b passing by newry & portadown, that was where he stayed.

No matter how long one try to avoid to face the demon deep inside, one still has to face it one day.

As when i had promised to visit keith & his family for xmas, when we met up when we were all in singapore, i knew i couldnt run away from it anymore.

When i was on the train, everything came back to me. The good thing is that all the memories that we had left, are the sweet, lovely, loving ones. right now, i couldnt even really remember wat didnt work out. It was all so beautiful, especially when the train passed by newry & portadown, it was actually snowing. A really beautiful sight. Gues this is one of God's way to tell me how beautiful the relationship was. :) i wasnt upset or emotional, just felt peaceful. i do still miss him, gues it is one fact tat i cant deny. :) and im all good.

Although i know i will remember alot more tomorrow when i hit the town, but im looking forward to it though. Because the last time when i came to belfast, was with lily. so there wil b a mixture of memories, but all is good. :)

Being in belfast, and hopefully can take nice pictures, gues it is one of the best way to end my 'travels' for the year of 2009. i would still consider being in belfast is being away on my travel, bcos it is under UK! we're using pounds over here! LOL

it has been 3weeks since im back in dublin from singapore, and geez.. not a day tat i was free.. wel, i had always been very good at keeping myself occupied anyways..
Had been really disciplined about hitting the gym for the threadmill on all my rest days ;) Mainly because wanting to maintain my fitness & weight of cos. The main goal is not to put on any weight especially during the winter time!!

Something happened when i 1st went to sauna after my holidays, i actually had a episode of syncope, just straight after coming out from the sauna :(
i dun know how long i was passed out, but thank god that i didnt hit my head or hurt myself in anyway. i dun want any more incidents anymore!

christmas is round the corner, and for this year, wont have to spend alot of money to buy any gifts, as i will be spending my xmas in dublin ;) i will see this as a good thing to be, as by right i should try to save as much as possible, as the stupid irish government is going to have a paycut across the country for the public sectors... ....

the increase of the tax, since the recession has started in the early months of the yr.. and now another paycut.... this is really not looking too good.. :( gotta hang on there for as long as i can!!

Its almost the end of Nov 2009, 1more month to end of the yr 2009.
6weeks of holidays in singapore has passed so quickly and now im back in dublin once again.
It was so difficult for me to get on the plane this time, but here i am.. back in the freezing cold.
Although i was reluctant to leave home again, at the same time, i was missing my 'other life' in dublin too..
And of cos, now when im back in dublin, i miss my '1st life' in spore.. hah

Its xmas time again, and i wasnt surprised to see the same light decorations on grafton street.. cos it was the same just like 2years ago.. i wonder hw many yrs have they been using the same lights for xmas already..
and all the memories i had for xmas in dublin, were all with chris. sweet.. and tat was 2007. We had celebrated xmas early tat yr as i was to go back to singapore for my sis wedding. The xmas lightings were out, and it was such a sweet feeling walking dwn grafton st and we took some pics too.

This year will b in dublin for xmas, and thankfully, i will not b working tat week. I seriously dun like to work on festive seasons. Although i am not going to be anywhere but dublin, but as long as i am not at work, i am happy. ;)

As this wil most likely to be my last year in dublin, or last xmas i would say, i dun mind whatever or wherever i am goin b in dublin ;) wil definitely try to make the most out of it

All thanks & gratitude to Varun & Caniff, & Varun's family's great hospitality for my 1st trip to India. My stay in Delhi was totally memorable & definitely i would want to go back there again, and do my way of travel. ;)

Being there for the wedding is absolutely a honour, and at the same time, i had learned something from it too.

There are many reasons why people get married..
Some are for benefits, some are for the real love, and so on
and so,i know what i want and what i dont.

I was thinking of you when i was at india, and wished that i could share it with you.
No matter where i am going to be, jsut want to say that you'll always be in my mind ;)

A Part of me goes with you, when you are gone
the lyrics of this song reminds me everything abt us

Hw many times have i been disgusted by how selfish one can be.. how inconsiderate one can be..
Its really 'amazing' how one can be so ignorant of others around him/her..
I used to think the typical characteristics of Kiasu-ism, kiasi-ism only exists in my homegrown plce, but.. honestly, to my comfort, in some ways.. this kind of attitude is everywhere, anywhere, any human being in the world.

How difficult can it be to put others first?
How difficult can it be to be more polite, courteous to others? especially, when the 'stranger' has done nothing to you..
How difficult can it be to hold/open the door for the one behind or in front of you?
How difficult can it be to give up yr seat to someone who needs it?
How difficult can it be to know that you are not the one & only patient in the ward / hospital?
How difficult can it be to realise that you have been rejected more than once, that i am not interested in you, and i have even told you to stop trying?

It is not difficult to see / realise that nowadays men are also behaving more like a girl now, that Sometimes, i really want to tell them straight in the face, "BE A MAN!" or "Stop being a pussy & get on with it"
Dont test my patience.. cos i am not known for that.

i know i hav been sayin this for a long time... im reali lookin forward to my trip back home this time.. and am already counting dwn to it too.. i tink alot of pple ard me has alredy sensed tat too.. ;)

just 1 more month to go.. it wil b my birthday!! going 30 this time!
many pple or mayb gals dun reali look forward to birthdays, esp hitting the number 3.. but, wel, seriously, im not!
I have been looking forward to it though.. wel, i look forward to my bday every yr.. ;p

im stil tinking, how shld i do my bday party.. or who shld i spend it with.. wat do i want to do on my bday.. wel, all i knw is tat, as long as i am spending as much time wif my familyn friends when im back in spore, i am happy. it doesnt reali matter hw we do it. ;)

counting down!!!

Bizarre thoughts for the day

- was considering that maybe i can work in clinic, 5day job, if im going back home for good

then when i was waiting @ the traffic light to cross the road, a car sped fast through me
then this came to me, " i wonder how much it hurt if i get knocked down by the speeding car.."

Then when i was browsing through one's profile & pics.. this came to me " I dont know if i can trust men anymore.."

And when i got home and got a lettermail, i wasnt even bothered about what i had got back from the agency.

All i can think of now.. is YOU.. I really miss you.

There are times when i do wonder
What did i actually missed when im away from home

Other than missing spending time with family & friends & of cos my dog, and the food ;)
i do know that i also missed many opportunities at work & love (maybe)

Everytime, when someone says, "i really envy you, travelling around the world, single, working overseas blah blah"
There is always Gain & Loss in every decision u make, the path that u choose, the sacrifices u make.
I think my mum has started to understand me better when im away frm home.
Understanding that i am pursuing my dreams, my wish.

Just wanna say a big Thank You & I LOVE YOU, to my supporting, loving family & Friends, who have stayed with me for all these years. U folks have no idea how bad & guilty i feel when i know that i cant be there for you when u have any trouble at home, but do remember and keep in mind that, my heart is always with u & distance is never going to drift our friendship away, and i am always just a call away.

I am really looking forward to my 6weeks of holiday back home. ;)