I remembered things were so much simpler, straightforward when i was a little kid, even people.
But as we grow, the world is growing up too i suppose, and thats when everything gets complicated.
Its not because we grew smarter, but its because nobody dares to express their real feelings.
we tend to have learned hw to suppress, how to hide behind masks, so that they cannot be hurt, not being vulnerable, trying to be perfect.
Hw many friends do u knw that are realy genuine? Hw do u knw tat they are genuine? Hw do u knw that they are not using u?

In the past, people believe in fate & destiny, i still do. But nowadays, with the advanced technology, we dont really need fate & destiny that much, for us to meet people.
Its opportunity that people create/ made by themselves to meet people.

In the past, love is so much simpler.
People get into relationship when they fall in love.
Get heartbroken when they fall out of love.
But now, people get into relationship when they can get something out of the relationship.
Benefits relationship.
Its no more of "i love you, i want to be with you"
Its more of "I want to be with you, because i can get this/that frm you"

This is sad, but true.

I Dun need any of these pretences.

When i said I miss you, I mean it.
When i said I love you, I mean it.
These are words that are simple & meaningful.
But its so commonly used by people that it doesnt hold much meanings to it anymore.

But when i do say it, i do mean it, cos it does takes a lot of me to say it & it means a lot to me. ;)

When has Loving someone become so difficult?
When has falling in love become so difficult?
Someone said, As you grow older, its harder to fall in love.

Maybe its because as One gets older, the more One doesnt want to be hurt
Maybe its because One has had too many heartbreaks before, that One doesnt believe in love anymore
Maybe its because One still believes that the destined one, the perfect one is still out there
Maybe its because One doesnt want to settle down with the 2nd best
Whatever reason One has, One doesnt really have any control about any of these above
When it comes to the matters of the heart, no one can know what is going to be, what is coming

When i left my home, i was hoping, dreaming that the One that i thought was my destined one, to fly all the way here to get me back. Obviously he's not.
Watched the movie, Last Chance Harvey earlier, and had this kind of feeling, and what he said at the end of the movie, was really romantic & of cos dreamy
I personally think this phrase really works wonder, especially for a long distance relationship.. and my heart will definitely melt if someone said this to me too.. ;)

When Kate asked harvey how is the relationship going to work out when one is in london, while the other is in new york.. Harvey said..

"I have absolutely no idea, but i promise you that it will all work out."

I think for any relationship to work out, all it takes is faith & trust, and of cos both parties' effort to make it work. And this time, i really want to make it work by believing it will, whatever it is coming. ;)

These 2weeks of leisure has been really relaxing for me, ;)
Although i was kinda stuck in dublin, as i cant travel due to the overspending in april on flights in budapest & london, i was really grateful that i had the summer in dublin!
Unbelievably, i finally got a little colour in my skin, in dublin! LOL
Seriously, i was actualy contemplating of getting into the sunbed, but luckily i didnt. ;)
Having the fantastic sunshine, clear blue sky, i was suntanning in my bikini, in the park for almost 6days.
Looks like i have brought the sun into dublin! Cos i was always travelling out of dublin during this time of the yr, and for the last 2 yrs, i hav heard friends groaning & moaning abt the Summer Rain in dublin and they were counting the days too. LOL
But wel, of cos this great weather wont last long, just like wat the weather forecast had said, the rain wil b back towards the end of the week.. so yeap.. i am expecting the rain..
Im happy nw for as long as i am back to brown, and shld start planning to go somewhere in july / aug/ sept.. ;)

I really miss gettin on the plane!! although pauline has changed her mind in coming over to europe for 2weeks in july.. so, nw, i can start to look into plces wher i can go on my own.

Other than travel plans, i have so many other plans in my mind too.. just kinda waiting for a sign, waiting for the right time to make the final decision.. ;)

When has it become so difficult to say what i really feel, i dont know..
The world is changing all the time, people do too, as many would say..

I can still remember the real heartbreak i had.. was the breakup with kenneth..
5yrs relationship, was almost everything i had, everything i thought i had.
We thought we are the one meant for each other..
my 1st real relationship where sacrifices & changes were made, and was hoping that all will turn out the way that we want it to be, but it didnt.
Just like my element of AIR, i cannot be restrain.
Mayb we had started too young.
Mayb its actualy not reali meant to be.
Instead of growing together, we grew apart.
Sadly to say, the breaking up is not pleasant at all.
Just like the phrase goes, "You're Forgiven, but Not Forgotten"

The rest of the r/s that i had after that, were all short, and i was never really into the r/s..
till Chris.
Although it was only 6mths, but it was full & rich.

I know clearly hw i truly feel, but once again, denied everything.
Always giving myself the hard time & harshest way to forget things and to move on.
But honestly, i cant. Even after a yr, i still felt the same way.
No matter hw much or hw hard to convince myself, to keep my real feelings to myself, i guess it didnt work out the way i want it to be, or i thought it could be.

Gues, no matter hw much i have grown, my true self, the real me will still resurface no matter hw deep i had tried to bury it.

Yes, i had finally said what i realy feel. Now im really relieved.
No matter what it will turn out to be, i am proud to be true to my feelings, once again.