Monday, April 13, 2009

I found myself justifying my decision that i have made today, which i find it rather weird as i seldom do tat.
Maybe because i felt a little guilty for rejecting the offer
But i still did. ;) and im glad i had.
Was supposed to work today, but one of the staff who is suppose to be on leave, turned up for work stil, so we r overstaffed. Not wanting to be deployed out to other plce, 1 of us can take the leave instead. None of them wants to take the leave, mainly because its public holiday today, so its double pay, and of cos work will not b that busy, who doesnt want this kind of deal? Wel, obviously not me. Since no one wants to take the leave, i took it, mainly because i AM really tired. So, cycled back home.

Just got home for abt 10mins, got a call frm the ward, and asked me if i want to go back to hosp to work in the ICU, as they are short of staffs, will b working as bank shift, which also means more pay, but, i just cycled to n fro to hosp! She mentioned that one of them might b pulled out to the ICU if they couldnt get any1. Wel, seriously, if im in charge, in the 1st plce, i would ask the staff who suppose to b on leave to go home, instead of asking someone else to go when she doesnt want to. its her fault for not checkin the roster. So, overstaffed, the one who wil get deployed wil b the staff who is suppose to b on leave. cos she is not suppose to b in the ward anyway. So, if icu need staff, she can go there. But i also know that none of them wants to go to ICU. Usually i would jump to the opportunity to be deploy to ICU, but not this time. They know tat too. Honestly, i dont want to be taken advantage anymore by these pple.

There are so many times when i had helped them so much and in the end, when i needed one, they just feigned ignorance. Too many times! So, now, i think i am too frustrated working with these kind of pple that i really dont want to be bothered. I know too, that there are always these kind of pple anywhere. So when i was justifying my decision for not going back to hosp to work, i was like "why do i want to care if any of them will be pulled out to ICU?" Should i even b bothered? No, i seriously dont want to.

So, with the grey weather in dublin, the best way to spend the day with the exhausted body and mind, is to stay in. And so, i did. I slept from 10am - 6pm!! This shows hw tired i am, hw much rest i need!!

Now, im happy!! Its right not to work, even when it means more money.
Money cant buy health!! ;) anyway, if i do work today, the pay wil b taxed n i will only b gettin a small fraction of it, so y bother?

Friday, April 10, 2009

I have this sudden urge of going back home.. i feel exhausted, totally burnt out.
This feeling of wanting to stop has been bugging me on and off
Feeling of tiredness of travelling the world suddenly came to me
This is bothering me now
Guess my body is telling me to stop n rest as the episodes of palpitation is getting more frequent
Maybe its because i'll be going to london soon, for the Singapore Day in London, that is causing me to miss home more
I know i do missed being home with friends & family, especially when looking through pics of gatherings being organised at home and im not there
I know i do want to spend more time with my dog, Coco. Especially after watching Marley & Me, and 10 Promises to my dog.. made me miss him a lot more. & Knowing that he might not have a lot of time with us, made me feeling so guilty for being away from home for 2yrs, and this is going to be my 3rd yr in dublin.
I hope to be around to see my nephew, Jaden, my godson, Kayden & Goddaughter, Xylvia grow up. Im glad that my sis has got a webcam nw(finaly) and i can see him and my sis online.
Maybe i should slow down, but i kept feeling that i dont have much time
I know that i have always wished that i dont have a long lifespan, cos i dont want to be left behind, being the last one to go.. but i dont reali want to be the 1st one to go too
Like i told Annie before, at my funeral, i dont want my family & friends to be wearing black.
White is my favourite. I love colours. I want white lilies for my funeral. and my funeral will be done up like a photo gallery, where it will display my fav pics tat i have taken, with family, friends, travel.
There are times when i asked myself, what's my real purpose in life. I dont reali knw yet.
I am grateful for everything that has happened to me, for me & with me
For all whom i have met, known and loved, im thankful for all the memories, lessons that you have given me.
I would say that i have no regrets so far for all the decisions that i have made in my life.

So now, "What would you change if you can turn back time?"


Thursday, April 09, 2009

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

After 2 weeks of annual leave, travelling to Amsterdam & Budapest, now im back to working schedule. Guess getting back to the reality is always not an easy task.

Through these trips, i'd learned something more abt myself, got to know pple more. And i totally agree to this phrase saying that, 'There are some friends whom you cant travel with' and
'Travelling can either break the friendship or bond it more'

For my travel, i love to do things on my own, at my pace, with no tourguide. I like to roam ard the city with a map, finding my way ard, which i dont always have any prob as i wil always read abt the city b4 i go on the trip. Sometimes, i will go to the city without doing any homework, and just see what i can get/see along the way.

Weather is also very impt during travel too! Amsterdam is the 2nd city that was raining for the days that i was there, Prague was the 1st. I love Sun, dun mind the snow, but not rain!! !!
I loved the rain when back in singapore, but not in Europe! That is something that i love n hate!!
So, wil prob go back to Amsterdam again, if i can, to really see the city & the real Holland. ;)
and i can skip the red light district part, as i have seen enough, cos thats prob the area that im quite familiar with, after stayin near ther for the 3nights when we're there.

Cant realli write too much nw, cos im tryin to concentrate, but mind is running all over the plce.