Thursday, May 28, 2009

Are you afraid of dying?

A lot of people do. I can understand and know why are they afraid of it. People don't like to talk about it, don't want to think about it. People yearns to have a long life. Seriously, its really not about how long yr life is, but it's how u have lived yr life. The quality of life, not the quantity.
Same goes to the number of friends one has. Its the number of friends whom one can count on, can trust, not the number of 'friends' you have in yr telephone list, or in yr FB account.

One dying patient, who has been really difficult lately, is going through the denial stage and obviously afraid of death. Screaming, shouting at and for the nurses in every 5-10minutes, is no joke at all. Through my nursing career, this is the 2nd patient who is doing that. I can still remember my 1st patient on my 1st attachment as nursing student. Had this patient who was really rude, impatient, and was giving out to whoever was taking care of him. He was alone, no family, bled to death on my 3rd day of duty. I remembered that i was cursing him after my 2nd day with him as he was really giving me a very hard time then. When he passed away on the 3rd day, i felt so guilty for cursing him, wishing that i could take every word back, i was still a student, hot-headed gal, whom don't really know what was he going through then. I remembered him all these years, because he taught me a life lesson abt holding my temper, keeping my head cool.

This time round, this dying patient is almost the same like my 1st patient.. but is worse.. And i can say that i am proud of myself because i dealt with him more calmly, and i actually empathise with him, and i can understand what is he going through, and not 'cursing' him, and i didnt, well, couldnt raise my voice at him, not even once. But his main nurse was almost bursting in tears, that is why i helped to attend to him, even though i had my hands full with my confused patient. It was one of the worst day at work honestly. Not feeling good at all too, with a throbbing & tension headache for the whole day at work. But at the end of the day, i was glad to say that at least my colleague was appreciative for the help.

Of cos, there are people who are dying, are totally opposite. I had met some dying patients, who were really sweet too. Some liked it quiet, peaceful. Some were still making plans for their families.

What about you?
What will you do?
Have you even thought about it?
Would it change Your Life?

It has, for me.

Monday, May 11, 2009

So, nw this is my new pad, just 2 streets away frm the apartment actualy, and tat is also why i can move my things over by myself. During the move, my 'new best friend' is my bicycle! LOL when i was planning to move, i was actualy planning to use the shopping cart frm the supermarket to help carry my things.. but on the actual moving, i realised tat i can use my bicycle anyway! ;)

Small, but big enough for me. i had viewed a lot of plces before i came to this one, and i liked it at the 1st time.
Just like when i 1st saw coco (my dog), i loved him at the very 1st sight, and i have to get him, spending 4hours in the pet shop convincing my mum to let me get him ;) although i do wished tat he could be with me here in dublin, but its not goin to b an easy trip for him to b on the plane for more than 12hours.. and as i knw tat i wont b stayin in dublin for long, leaving him in spore wif my family is actualy the best n wise choice for the both of us.

So now, having this plce to myself, i can also actualy offer my couch to couchsurfers too. ;) after i reali get it all done up 1st, tat is

There's always mixed feelings when u r moving hse.. Although i had been tinking of moving out since last yr, but there's always something tats holdin me back, or im always busy with something else and moving out is always at the bottom on my list.

But finally, i had found a plce tat i can stay on my own, and moving out this time is not an easy as i moved in. ;)

still, i managed to move my stuffs with minimal help frm anyone, i moved almost all my stuffs on my own! it is till this day tat i admit tat i do hav some characteristics frm my mum!! we tend to do things on our own, dun usually ask for help, unless we really need it. if we can do it by ourselves, we'll do it. so, yea, im pretty proud of myself tat i did it on my own, wel, abt 90% of the moving. ;)

Of cos, before officially giveing back the keys to the agent, i spent a few moments in the empty apartment where i had stayed for almost 2yrs in dublin. lots of memories in it.. wif chris, aunty mary, chermaine, lily, ting, whom had 'stayed' wif me when they were here in dub :)

These are the teddy bears which i left behind.. although they were all presents for me, and i usualy dun throw away presents frm pple. but this time, i would hav to, cos i wouldnt b bringin them back to spore when i eventually leave dub anyway, so might as wel, dump them nw then to bring them over to the new plce.

My fav plce of the apt is not my room, but the balcony. ;) It is where i can get a beautiful view of the mountains, where i would sit at when the sun is shining bright on it.. where i sometimes stood on it and admire the dark starry & quiet night. the day when i left, the sun was shining, and i spent my last moments in the apt sitting at the balcony. ;)