Was watching Sex & the city on tv earlier today.. and had me thinking..

Is Relationship just a Game or is it an open, honest communication relationship??

In most relationships, it always begins to b in a game.
Where the chasing, fallin in love starts.. for those who remains in the game for too long,wil find it tiring, gets bored & sick, and calls for time out. Some loves to remain in the game, bcos of the control one can get on another.
There are always rules & regulations in the game. Those who know the rules, can be in the game and rule the game. Those who dont, always get themselves hurt, broken, and though they would say they wouldnt want to play anymore, most will still find themselves fallin into another game.

To me, in any kind of relationship, it has to be open & honest relationship.
Be it with yr friends, family, love, or even co-workers.. or even for my patients..
i always try to have it as open & honest as i can.
wel, maybe not to my family.. somehow or rather, i always find myself hard to express my feelings to my family, i tend to hide them more than to my friends. Being the eldest in my family, i always hav to be stronger & more independent, and thus making me so used to be having to put up a strong front even though when i might be hurting, bleeding deep inside, but i can never show this side of me to my family, especially my parents. Even when im sick.. i stil find myself doing tat.. hiding it, pushing myself,

The key factor in a relationship esp love, is honesty & openness.
Frankly, not many pple can be like this.
To many, u cant be too honest or open esp in love r/s
cos yr partner might not b able to handle tat..
wel, mayb, yr partner might not to b able to take it nw, but he will, as many pple just need time

For any r/s to work out, honesty & openness in communication is impt.
and of cos Time wil tell the truth.
So even if one is trying to hide something, somehw, the truth wil find its way out.

Time will not only tell the truth, it will also heal the wound.
All one need is TIME.

Time to be alone.
Time to breathe.
Time to think.
Time to find oneself again.

It was a hit series back then when it 1st showing on tv, and nw, finally the movie, feeling like it is putting an official ending for Carrie & Mr Big, and the rest of the characters as well. I personally like the movie very much, as it reminds me so much of myself in a way or two, and people close to me too.

The closeness of their friendship reminds me so much of me & my close friends, makes me miss all of my friends back in spore. It reminds me that, no matter hw far apart we are, we know that we will be there always for one another. And i also know that i will always have their support in whatever decisions tat i have made. Just like when i decided to move to the other part of the world, although they couldnt bear for me to go, worry abt me going on my own, still, they gave me all the support that i need to make it here.

Then, it is the gesture of love that Mr Big have for Carrie.. makes me miss CHRIS so much..
The kiss on my nose, on my forehead.. all these small gestures means a lot to me,

All the simple, little gestures of love, i miss them so much.
I know I really love you.

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A gd fren-colleague pointed out something to me today at work, and get me thinking..

"Working with me is very stressful."

Was 'precepting' a SN and was havin a student for the last few times at work.. reminds me so much of work back in spore. I enjoy teaching / coaching / sharing my knowledge, and i dont mind doing that, as long as the receiver is receptive, interested & motivated. Attitude & behavior of the person is very important, that i am, sometimes, do very particular abt the little small things abt a person, that i think, this is the problem or difficulty tat im having.

Reflecting on my work, seriously, i think i am kinda perfectionist, although i am a Libran..
i realised, that i am kinda control freak too. All these can be good, and bad too, depends on who i am working with though. Just like for the last couple days, i was with one who is very untidy & disorganised, but as she is still a student, it is understandable & can be teach. But if it is like today, where my 'partner' is already a SN, it gets difficult & frustrating for me.. esp when consdiering that she is older than me.. I cant be always be at her back and cleaning up her mess!!

The student told me that another gd fren-colleague passed a comment abt the way i work too, that i am very on time, that i always finish my work on time. well, the fact is that i always finish my work before time. i always make it a point to finish my work at least an hour before the nex shift comes on duty.

Realising hw perfectionist & controlling i am.. i started to ask myself..
what abt my close friends, my family, my ex-bfs, my bf..

Do they feel pressurised being with me??
Am i too controlling, overbearing??
Am i moving too fast for them to catch up?

I wonder.

有人说过- 爱的越深，伤得也会深。

也不知道为什么，明明已经把自己的心好好的封锁，建立了一道围墙，可是还是被一一的解开了。可是结果还是跟以前一样，又再一次的被爱情给打败了。

当我连对自己也开始怀疑自己的能力再踞续逞下去，爱娜说了一句话，贴心而真实，

“我的心是很大，可以承受这个世界，只是承受不了爱情的伤害”

而我的弟弟也说，“我以为你已经习惯了，分手和伤心的过程”

说真的，连我也自我安慰的对自己说这两句话， 心也比较好了，已经满满的恢复了以前单身的生活。

毕竟，建立围墙和封锁自己的心，是我拿手的强项。