Friday, May 23, 2008

Just when i thought i can really have the happiness that i deserve, i lost it all again.. this is the worst day i have ever been, the worst thing that i have ever done, and it really hurts. To tink that i am the one who destroys everything because i worry, think too much.
Used to ask all the close friends who found their right one, hw do they know that this is the one.. and their answer was, u will know when u meet the right one. Really dont know wat to write nw, cos it has become so empty.. the very 1st time i have ever felt emptiness.. wel, to forget tat i was almost got ran over while crossing the road cos i wasnt really there.. and concluded tat stayin in is the best way to avoid all these hazards.. and to cry my eyes out.. this time it is really very hard to control, i tried, tried really hard but it didnt work.. walking down the busy streets, with a lot of things goin on around me, i just dun even care anymore.. im juz crap.. im tired of being the strong one, who seems to be having everything in my control, tired of teling everybody that i am fine, when im not, tired of not telling the people hw hard it has been for me because didnt want them to worry abt me.. tired of myself that i kept pushing myself so hard all the time.. i dun like all the ugly things tat i have seen in life, on the streets, at work, on the world, where is my rainbow, my sunshine, i want to feel them once again.. need to find my inner peace, prob i shld rest, rest my body, my mind & my soul.... all these pain physically and emotionally.. juz shouldnt & couldnt ignore them anymore.. still wanna wake up in the morning, and grateful to be alive. although its has always been my wish tat if even when i die, i wanna go in my sleep.. but tink i have changed my mind abt tat. enough of blabbling nonsense..

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