There's always things in life that is unexplainable, especially death
The sudden death of Lee, has indeed caught everyone of us in shock
and it has also made me ponder abt alot of things too

It was reali hard for all of us to take in the news..
and i had such an urge to call C, just wanna hear his voice, and to tell me that everything is ok
really wished that he is around, to give me a hug, just to hold me, be there for me

Walked down grafton street tonite and the xmas lightings were already out..
and it reminds me of C again
Last yr, we were happily in love, walking dwn the beautiful lighted up grafton st, and took couple of pics of it..

looking upon the stars in the sky.. it reminded me of hw we were always walkin back to my plce frm the city, and the star that he had 'given' me..

is this some kind of joke that GOD is playing on me?
to start losing the person whom i love
to take away people who is bigger than life, like Lee, Aunty May

this time when im going back to spore, it wil b different frm the last time
cos C wont b sending me to the airport, and neither would he be fetching me at the airport when im coming back
i honestly, dun knw why would i stil want to come back, but i have to
wanted to just give him a call and to tel him that i stil love him, but i wouldnt
he wil b leaving to japan soon, and telling him that wont change anything abt it
and cos i knw he doesnt, wouldnt feel the same way for me anymore

i need to get away.. .. for a long time
5weeks.. i seriously dun even think its ever enough..
im kinda more looking forward to 2010 though, than 2009
or mayb i shldnt be left alone, cos that is when my mind starts to rewind n running wild
just like nw.. talkin crap again, goin to b 2am
my last weekend in dublin for 2008

i hav some scary feelings, but wont put it dwn here, cos i hav to reassure myself that everything is going to be ok, and im going to b fine, and i wil b back in dublin for the new yr.
and yes, i will hav to tel myself that.