Thursday, May 28, 2009

Are you afraid of dying?

A lot of people do. I can understand and know why are they afraid of it. People don't like to talk about it, don't want to think about it. People yearns to have a long life. Seriously, its really not about how long yr life is, but it's how u have lived yr life. The quality of life, not the quantity.
Same goes to the number of friends one has. Its the number of friends whom one can count on, can trust, not the number of 'friends' you have in yr telephone list, or in yr FB account.

One dying patient, who has been really difficult lately, is going through the denial stage and obviously afraid of death. Screaming, shouting at and for the nurses in every 5-10minutes, is no joke at all. Through my nursing career, this is the 2nd patient who is doing that. I can still remember my 1st patient on my 1st attachment as nursing student. Had this patient who was really rude, impatient, and was giving out to whoever was taking care of him. He was alone, no family, bled to death on my 3rd day of duty. I remembered that i was cursing him after my 2nd day with him as he was really giving me a very hard time then. When he passed away on the 3rd day, i felt so guilty for cursing him, wishing that i could take every word back, i was still a student, hot-headed gal, whom don't really know what was he going through then. I remembered him all these years, because he taught me a life lesson abt holding my temper, keeping my head cool.

This time round, this dying patient is almost the same like my 1st patient.. but is worse.. And i can say that i am proud of myself because i dealt with him more calmly, and i actually empathise with him, and i can understand what is he going through, and not 'cursing' him, and i didnt, well, couldnt raise my voice at him, not even once. But his main nurse was almost bursting in tears, that is why i helped to attend to him, even though i had my hands full with my confused patient. It was one of the worst day at work honestly. Not feeling good at all too, with a throbbing & tension headache for the whole day at work. But at the end of the day, i was glad to say that at least my colleague was appreciative for the help.

Of cos, there are people who are dying, are totally opposite. I had met some dying patients, who were really sweet too. Some liked it quiet, peaceful. Some were still making plans for their families.

What about you?
What will you do?
Have you even thought about it?
Would it change Your Life?

It has, for me.

1 comment:

About Pret-A-Partay said...

Death is inevitable to me. What is most impt is having all my close family around me and haing completed everything I've ever wanted to do in my life. I wanna die in my sleep...peacefully and painlessly and I wanna go before David. It would be easier for him to mourn for me than me for him. He's strong boy, he'll take the grieving process alot better than me.