When hope is all lost, then Time will definitely heal all wounds.

So, let me lose all the hopes, so that I can let Time heal my wound.

I can find other hopes when i totally lose this one.

It must be ages ago & I really missed this feeling.. feeling of being close to my dad..
I realised that i do missed his voice, his laughter.
How lucky we are in these modern days that communication has made so easy for us

I dont remember when did my dad went for his long deserved holiday. This time, he went to Phillippines for 2weeks with colleagues and im glad he had a great time. He spoke of his adventures & the great times he had, i was just sitting on my gym ball listening to him.

Somehow, as always, the topic changes from his trip to me.. to think that he is still worried for me, makes me feel kinda weird but happy in a way. To think that i have always thought that i am the least of their worries among my siblings.. maybe not..

No matter what is my decision, i know he will always be supporting me.

I cant wait to be back home & to tell him in person myself, that I love him.

Just like how much i wanted to see C, to tell him in person, that I love him.

Life is always full of surprises, be it good or bad, no one knows what is coming.
There is also a lot of sayings, philosophies.. like
A leopard never change its spots.
What goes around, comes around.
Never eat where you sh*t

I have never like one who lies or cheat, and i used to say this, if you cheat, never ever let me know. If u lie to me, dun ever let me know the truth.
Once, i was betrayed, lied & cheated on by the one i loved
although all is forgiven, but i would never forget
although i have totally let it go, but memories remain

i prayed for you to be a grown up & to treat the next woman right & well.
knowing that you are doing better and in another long term relationship, i thought my prayers were answered.. but.. who knows.. you are making the same mistake again..
breaking another poor gal's heart

wel, at least somehow in some ways, i felt so relieved for myself
im glad that i am what i am now,
somehow i have to thank you for it as what i have gone through with you, has made me a stronger person.

i still believe tat u r not tat bad in yr nature, but stil, u reali dun knw why u had done this to hurt the pple who loves you.
to think that u can still remember what we had gone through, i reali wonder what is in yr mind, what has make u change so much.. or did i make a mistake.. that this is yr real nature..

i just hope that u will come to yr senses & stop hurting pple who loves you.

Watched a show by Angeline Jolie & Edward Burns, Life or Something like it, makes me ponder..
well, everything happens around me, anything that i'd watched, makes me ponder..

What is important in yr life?
Your career?
Your wedding?
The man that you are going to marry, just because he fits all the criteria in your checklist?
The so-call PERFECTION that you have created yourself...?

Sometimes, what you think its important, what you have gone through, what you have come so far from, what you have worked so hard for.., might not be the real thing that you want in your life...!!

Define Love.

Define Life.

Define Perfect.

If you look into the dictionary and search for the meanings of these words, you get plenty of explanations of the words.

But in real life, let's just keep it simple.

If you love somebody, tell them. Dont wait for the special day/moment to tell them, because that day might not come. Everyday is special as long as you are with the one whom you love.

Live your life to the fullest everyday, because the next day might not come.

As for perfect, as the saying goes, No one, Nothing is perfect, so dont look for one and you don't have to be one.

I don't have to be one either.

its been almost 4yrs since i had sponsor this kid frm mongolia, with the organisation, World vision in Singapore.

Really happy to receive this card frm the kiddo, where he will keep me updated abt his general progress. well, not really by the kiddo as he is still too young.. it is filled up by his grand dad. Last yr, the card was filled up by his mum. ;)

Mongolia is one of the country that i have been wanting to go and visit, way b4 the sponsorship.

i think i might have some affinity with the country, and prob with the kid too.. ;)

when i contacted world vision to express my interest for the sponsorship program, the 1st child profile they gave it to me is this kiddo, and i said yes. it was near xmas then, so i suppose that's also one of the best xmas present tat i had given someone. ;)

Its been awhile since i last post something but now i have such sudden urge to post something that my dearest brother had wrote in his blog. Here it goes, ;)


15 July
Can't seems to fall alseep on another restless night (Chin Family)
HAHAHAHA who is in the right mind to be so awake at 4.28AM! I could have fall asleep at 12am when I felt so tired, but now! I'm facing insomnia! -_-" all because of my stubborness to face tiredness! HAHAHAHAAnyway, it might be heaven's will to keep me awake so I can start blogging once again! LOL. There has been a couple of times when I wanted to "restart" a blog but I just couldn't bring myself to face it. LOL. *for many reasonssssss* Past is over! Lets look ahead! =D One of the reasons that I should blog/write down many things was that I cannot afford to loss any great memories in my life AGAIN! It is such a painful feeling that I would never want to face it once again...... Thankfully, most memories are still kept safely in my heart :) I'm blessed! :pHmmmmm, what should I blog? Ok! Let's start with my family! Hehehe, I seldom talk or discuss too much my relationship with my family, HAHAHA, maybe we are being brought up too independantly already, LOL. But! No matter what happens, I have the best parents ever, best sisters ever, BECAUSE, they are my ONE and ONLY family members that I love! I will only remember the great things they had done and slowly forgetting what they "might have done" :) Fate has brought this family together and giving each and everyone "tests" "obsticles" to overcome and End of the day, we are always 1, FAMILY...... *did i just forgot to mention Coko?

*Dad (The True Master Chin): A guy who has my utomost respect for being so tolerate and forgiving in the family. :) Suffering in silence most of the time...... maybe that is what it takes to be a dad, the person who works the most, pay the most and contribute the most to the Chin Family. Waking up almost everyday at 4am to get ready to work, taking care of Coko (our dog). :) Life has changed this man from a gangster to a family man, a man who makes mistakes in life but still faithfully carrying out his duties as the Head of Chin Family.

Mom (Guardian of the Chin Family): Woman are meant to be softer and more sensitive towards relationships and feelings, my mom is no different. She is always the one who gets worried and heartaches when any of the family members get hurts or suffers..... Of couse! She is also the one who take care of everyone in the family, do the dishes, clearing all our mess, maintaining this family. The person who is the saddest when my 2nd sister got married! LOL. Life has changed this woman from a princess to a empress, the straight forward nature and self centred person has given in to every single child she had.....

Eldest Sister (The free soul): A mature woman who knows how to really live her life to the fullest, not afraid to make mistakes and always daring enough to take the step that some guys would never be able to take. :) She is the free soul that I admire, the courage and independantness that I cannot afford to take. :) This woman had gone through alot to be who she is now, I can even see the difference she makes, the thinking and piority she had in life changes the day she left us to persue her dream...... She is ever changing! LOL. *wonder will I be able to see this woman get married, hahahaha* From a girl who is rebellious to a mature woman who lives overseas..... Life has made this woman more family like. =p Begin to appreciate this family more, loves this family more. :)

2nd Sister (The settled soul): A mother of 1 who always make family her piority in life. Studies is really not her cup of tea eventhough she might have done a lot better when we were all younger! LOL. Her family focus attitude is something that I will have to learn when the time comes by. She is always the one who makes the extra effort, go the extra mile to organize celebration for birthdays/special occasions. Currently having a family of her own and still learning to be a better married daughter, :p things are going smoothly for this young mother since she was born, LOL, maybe she is the most blessed person in this family (apart from me) :p From a young girl who is always being bullied to a lady who found true love and got married..... now becoming a true mom who is experiencing the happiness of building a family. May all good things fall upon this sister of mine~ Great health to Jaden and of course Mr Bond <---- U r the MAN!

Coko (precious): If there is someone who doesn't knows that I have a brother that lives with me, then I shall introduce this COKO of CHIN family! The dog who my family members adore so much and care so much (even more than me)..... He is also the most un-contributing member of the family! LOL. Ok! he did contribute by pretending to be pathetic and gel us together when he seeks attention, hahahaha. The dog who loves to sleep on my bed and make a mess out of it! keep following strangers who stepped in my house, without barking!!!!! The dog who doesn't bark or lick unless being forced..... -_-" sometimes I wonder whether is he a dog or pretending to be one. LOL. From a puppy to Hmmmmm, a puppy still! LOL. Really hope there wouldnt be a time to see off this brother of mine..... Wow! I haven been able to write about myself because I will surely leave this to my family members to do it! :) I love you all! There wouldn't be a better family in this whole world except for the Chin Family!

I was so touched & felt terribly heartache, missing my family so much after reading this. He had hit on all the facts & truth abt all of us, that we have never say it out due to the way we were brought up, but of cos im sure we all know this too, in our hearts.

So to add in to his post, this is for u bro!

Brother (the joker, slacker, most goodlooking in the family)
Since we were kids, i have always loved my brother more, and given that our similar personalities, i am closer to him too. Watching him growing frm a mischievious, happy chuckling little boy to this day of a mature, responsible young, goodlooking man, im really proud of him. ;)
This brother of mine is one who has always put our family 1st in place, one who has always love this family, no matter what happens, has proved that he is definitely will b a very good husband! :) prob just need a little more time to find the Ms Right, & of cos @ the right time too.
He is also one who will do sweet little things tat matters most, like the psotcard, sms texts tat he had sent to me.

Like you said, there is no other better family than the Chin family!
Thanks for all the understanding, support, love, strength that All of you had given me, i knw it deeply in my heart & i really appreciated it. Without you, i wouldnt have make it this far, realising, fulfilling my dream here in dublin.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! ;)

I remembered things were so much simpler, straightforward when i was a little kid, even people.
But as we grow, the world is growing up too i suppose, and thats when everything gets complicated.
Its not because we grew smarter, but its because nobody dares to express their real feelings.
we tend to have learned hw to suppress, how to hide behind masks, so that they cannot be hurt, not being vulnerable, trying to be perfect.
Hw many friends do u knw that are realy genuine? Hw do u knw tat they are genuine? Hw do u knw that they are not using u?

In the past, people believe in fate & destiny, i still do. But nowadays, with the advanced technology, we dont really need fate & destiny that much, for us to meet people.
Its opportunity that people create/ made by themselves to meet people.

In the past, love is so much simpler.
People get into relationship when they fall in love.
Get heartbroken when they fall out of love.
But now, people get into relationship when they can get something out of the relationship.
Benefits relationship.
Its no more of "i love you, i want to be with you"
Its more of "I want to be with you, because i can get this/that frm you"

This is sad, but true.

I Dun need any of these pretences.

When i said I miss you, I mean it.
When i said I love you, I mean it.
These are words that are simple & meaningful.
But its so commonly used by people that it doesnt hold much meanings to it anymore.

But when i do say it, i do mean it, cos it does takes a lot of me to say it & it means a lot to me. ;)

When has Loving someone become so difficult?
When has falling in love become so difficult?
Someone said, As you grow older, its harder to fall in love.

Maybe its because as One gets older, the more One doesnt want to be hurt
Maybe its because One has had too many heartbreaks before, that One doesnt believe in love anymore
Maybe its because One still believes that the destined one, the perfect one is still out there
Maybe its because One doesnt want to settle down with the 2nd best
Whatever reason One has, One doesnt really have any control about any of these above
When it comes to the matters of the heart, no one can know what is going to be, what is coming

When i left my home, i was hoping, dreaming that the One that i thought was my destined one, to fly all the way here to get me back. Obviously he's not.
Watched the movie, Last Chance Harvey earlier, and had this kind of feeling, and what he said at the end of the movie, was really romantic & of cos dreamy
I personally think this phrase really works wonder, especially for a long distance relationship.. and my heart will definitely melt if someone said this to me too.. ;)

When Kate asked harvey how is the relationship going to work out when one is in london, while the other is in new york.. Harvey said..

"I have absolutely no idea, but i promise you that it will all work out."

I think for any relationship to work out, all it takes is faith & trust, and of cos both parties' effort to make it work. And this time, i really want to make it work by believing it will, whatever it is coming. ;)

These 2weeks of leisure has been really relaxing for me, ;)
Although i was kinda stuck in dublin, as i cant travel due to the overspending in april on flights in budapest & london, i was really grateful that i had the summer in dublin!
Unbelievably, i finally got a little colour in my skin, in dublin! LOL
Seriously, i was actualy contemplating of getting into the sunbed, but luckily i didnt. ;)
Having the fantastic sunshine, clear blue sky, i was suntanning in my bikini, in the park for almost 6days.
Looks like i have brought the sun into dublin! Cos i was always travelling out of dublin during this time of the yr, and for the last 2 yrs, i hav heard friends groaning & moaning abt the Summer Rain in dublin and they were counting the days too. LOL
But wel, of cos this great weather wont last long, just like wat the weather forecast had said, the rain wil b back towards the end of the week.. so yeap.. i am expecting the rain..
Im happy nw for as long as i am back to brown, and shld start planning to go somewhere in july / aug/ sept.. ;)

I really miss gettin on the plane!! although pauline has changed her mind in coming over to europe for 2weeks in july.. so, nw, i can start to look into plces wher i can go on my own.

Other than travel plans, i have so many other plans in my mind too.. just kinda waiting for a sign, waiting for the right time to make the final decision.. ;)

When has it become so difficult to say what i really feel, i dont know..
The world is changing all the time, people do too, as many would say..

I can still remember the real heartbreak i had.. was the breakup with kenneth..
5yrs relationship, was almost everything i had, everything i thought i had.
We thought we are the one meant for each other..
my 1st real relationship where sacrifices & changes were made, and was hoping that all will turn out the way that we want it to be, but it didnt.
Just like my element of AIR, i cannot be restrain.
Mayb we had started too young.
Mayb its actualy not reali meant to be.
Instead of growing together, we grew apart.
Sadly to say, the breaking up is not pleasant at all.
Just like the phrase goes, "You're Forgiven, but Not Forgotten"

The rest of the r/s that i had after that, were all short, and i was never really into the r/s..
till Chris.
Although it was only 6mths, but it was full & rich.

I know clearly hw i truly feel, but once again, denied everything.
Always giving myself the hard time & harshest way to forget things and to move on.
But honestly, i cant. Even after a yr, i still felt the same way.
No matter hw much or hw hard to convince myself, to keep my real feelings to myself, i guess it didnt work out the way i want it to be, or i thought it could be.

Gues, no matter hw much i have grown, my true self, the real me will still resurface no matter hw deep i had tried to bury it.

Yes, i had finally said what i realy feel. Now im really relieved.
No matter what it will turn out to be, i am proud to be true to my feelings, once again.