Sunday, August 12, 2007

Being here in dublin, away frm home for the past 10mths, this is the 2nd time that i had cried so hard.. Its not because life was hard or any difficult for me over here.. oh well..

The 1st time was when my sister 1st told me about my lovely doggie, Coco, who was missing me since im gone, how he would always stayed in my room, hiding under my bed.. tat was like abt 1-2mths after i came to dublin, after i had my own internet broadband..

And today the 2nd time.. is after one of my closest friend, Christyne, told me about what she has been going through for the last few months.. one of her most difficult and tough times.. Depression.. and how she wished that i was around.. it realy hit me hard.. very hard.. we were chattin on msn for more than an hour.. and i was really crying for prob more than 30mins frm the moment she told me abt the depression..

It is already hard for me that i wasnt there for Kris's wedding & through her pregnancy.. and now when she told me abt what she'd gone through.. my heart was really shattered.. Guilt and Shame were overpowering.. This 13yrs old friendship which we still treasure and hold on dearly, is sure having a more longer way to go.

But i am glad that she has got out of the depression stage and had learned a very impt lesson in her life, knowing she had grown & having her special one by her side, i know she's in good hands. I always have no doubts abt her fiance because i know he really loves her, as i told her that she is the one that i am worried abt, because of her stubborness. Thank GOD that she has learned the way and she can finally understand what i had told her before. About loving someone, is not about possession. It is about seeing that someone whom u love being happy and you are being a bystander. Im glad that she can now see the point.

I felt really lousy and guilty when my closest friends are going through their impt stages in their life and i am missing it.. just like kris's wedding, and christyne's tough time.. but like christyne said, i am not missing any part of it, im juz late.. tat was pretty good eh.. and i am still in their lives, juz like they are still in mine. They know i have not forgotten abt them cos im always sending them letters, pics, sometimes a little presents frm the plces tat i travel to..

Chemistry between us & the understanding that we have of one another, is something that is really hard to find. We will always be there for one another, no matter what we do, or wherever we are..

We are actually talking about the next 10yrs to come.. the 1st 10yrs was about school, partying, gettin heart broken, graduating and getting our 1st fulltime jobs, searching for the Mr Right..
upcoming 10yrs will be, gettin married, well, both of them had found their Mr Right, and of cos the small little new member of the grp.. we sure have a long way to go!

Its been such a long time since i last cried so hard.. my eyes are so tired.. there are still quite a lot to update.. but gues the happy news, i can leave it to later then..

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