This is only the 1st mth of the year, and ther's already lots of things are goin on over here, and to b honest.. i am reali CONFUSED & gettin a little frustrated wif myself now.. .. ..
thinking tat things wil go smoothly this yr as the 3 of us hav our own goals n resolution for the yr but juz after our berlin trip, C found out tat she might laid off frm her company n she has to look for another job.. she didnt wan to move out of dublin juz yet, as she is reali happy for here n tings were goin on very wel for her. and now, she juz started to date, thus stayin here..

but as for me.. i wan to move out of dublin, every1 knows my plan of moving out before i came back to dublin.. but now.. i hav a little change of plan.. and tat is y now... i am confused, distracted n frustrated... argh.. so annoying!!

I dun know y or how it comes abt.. juz when i finaly got my offer of the permament contract frm the hospital, my heart starts to sway a little... reali hav to make the right decision to sign on the contract or not.. suddenly, i hav the desire, the urge to NOT sign on the perm contract.. so tat i can get the paid ticket to go back to singapore at the end of my contract! not reali as if i wan to save on that money to get the ticket myself to go back singapore this yr.. its jzu tat, i am reali starting to tink of goin back to singapore.. despite of my love of travelling n being away n independent now.... i juz hav such stronger feelings of goin back this time...

and everytime i tink of wat my mum asked me b4 i fly back to dublin.. my heart juz breaks..
and i felt so guilty, upset wif myself when i remembered the disappointed look on her face when i told her tat i didnt wan to come back to spore in the few yrs to come.. she asked me if i reali hav a hard time being back in spore.. i dun remember answering tat Qn.. cos i didnt know how to.. i dun hav difficulty adjusting myself back in spore, its juz tat, i reali love the freedom tat i hav now, n havin such flexible time @ work, n travelling.. i hav never travel so much in my life in a yr!! n honestly, i reali reali loved it..

ther's one point of time when i reali wished tat i am SINGLE so tat i dun hav to worry abt/ tink abt/ talk to chris abt this.. juz like wat i used to say... LOVE COMPLICATES LIFE SOMETIMES..

Lily has been reminding me abt this.. and a few others as well.. the need to talk over this matter wif chris, if we r serious abt each other.. but.. we've juz only started this r/s a couple of mths.. this is becoming a little tough for me to make up my mind to b honest.. i reali would love to go to the states.. but startin to contemplating of going back to singapore or to australia, at least Aust is nearer to home.. but Aust doesnt reli attract to me as much as US..

Reali prayin tat i would have some enlightenment on wat shld i choose.. wat path shld i take..
the stupid rain now is definitely not going to b a great help now.. damn rain!