i know i stil love you, but its @ the price of breaking someone else's heart..
i can see the hurt in this poor guy's eyes, and i felt reali stupid and wat a bitch i am with wat i'd done to him..
wanted to say sorry to him but i didnt,
wanted to tell u that im still tinking of u, but i cant,
wanted so much to be with you, but we cant,
i realli realli realli felt veri bad right now, but i cant let it out..
am i suppressing myself too much, am i tinking too much..
no, its my self defence mechanism which is 200% up, that i dun allow anyone or anything to get into my heart, anything that could hurt me in any way.

its reali weird, how this guy wanted so much to be with me.. its gives me the creeps.. i onli know him from the streets! or is it juz in his blood, cos he is a french.. supposingly to be the romantic species in the world.. i do enjoyed his company, but no way i will let myself fall into the trap within juz a day.. i have so much fear, honestly, yes, i admit, i am now a coward in this matter of love.. no longer the gal who will juz fall over heels, one who will follow her heart, in this game of love.. its too dangerous, cos i've been hurt too many times that i know, following my heart in love would onli juz bring me harm. lessons learnt, too well learned.

closure, i need a proper closure.. i need a way to let all this out.. shucks.. this is reali not a good day.. reali felt lousy about myself..
poor frenchie.. im sorry