I thought it was goin to the end of the world over the week, when it started raining continously for 3days.. when i dun see or feel the warmth of the sun even during the day.. worse, i was working on nite shifts during the rainy nites.. when everyone is snuggling up in their bed, warmed, underneath the blankets..
Sadness, depression got over me especially when im seeing peoples' lives getting weaker n weaker as days goes by.. body is giving up, but the mind is stil goin on strong.. struggling to survive..
I admit i do look down on people who tried to take away their life, who dun treasure their lives.. there're people out there who are struggling to be alive.. selfish, narrow-minded i would say, but of cos ther're cases that calls to differ.. i know. diff reason, diff point of view. everyone has our own opinion.
i told mum abt my last wish, if there's any mishap happen to me.. dun try so hard for me. i dun mind dying young, @ least i can donate all my gd organs out when im young. response frm her was not as receptive as i wanted it to be, but i said im serious, n i repeated twice. i tink it got into her the second time when she kept her silence.
I dun like death, people dying.. worse, when i know someone is dying n i couldnt do anything abt it.. i hate the feeling of being helplessness.. weakness, foolishness, wel, nobody likes it.. dying in a slow process is veri tormenting, painful for both the individual & his loved ones.. i would rather my loved ones to go in peace, painless way.. definitely not in pain, struggle.. & same goes for me too. Im not afraid of death, cos its juz a matter of time. one doesnt have to go through all the stages of life, 生老病死.. one doesnt have to be old to die..